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‘Where’s Jonathan?’ My mother’s eyes filled with tears, ‘He’s gone honey.’ ‘Noooo!’ ‘I’m so sorry baby girl, he was killed on impact. He didn’t suffer.’ I rolled my head to the side and stared at the wall, unable to speak. I wanted to die too. I wanted to be with Jonathan. Tears flowed down my cheek, while Mom continued to hold my hand and cry with me. —————– Slowly but surely I grew stronger each day, but my heart felt broken. I didn’t get to attend Jonathans funeral, so it still didn’t seem real to me. After extensive physical therapy on my left arm, that was shattered and pinned, I began to resume some function. Six months later I was as good as I would ever be. The head injuries left no permanent damage but my arm would never be the same. Scars covered my forearm where I apparently held up my arm to shield myself from impact, as well as the scar from the pins they used to save it. It was bad enough losing Jonathan, but ever time I looked at my arm it was a constant reminded of. My newlyshaped fingernails had been shaped so they were a bit more feminine, thenpainted a soft red that had some metallic stuff in it. Wearing nothingbut that gown I still didn't look anything like myself! As much as Iwanted to, I just could not tear myself away from the mirrors; I was inawe, but I was also mortified; my budding male ego had been crushed whenI saw how easy it had been to make me look like a girl.After mom and everyone else at the salon were done gushing about howpretty I was, mom told me to get dressed, and about half an hour later wewent home; I knew that I didn't look anything like myself, yet I feltreally scared as we walked out to the car, confident that someone wouldjump out and yell..."That's a boy!", but that didn't happen of course,because I looked like a girl wearing boys clothes. Once we got home, momand I went to my room where she left me, saying that she had gotten me afew "girl things". She walked out of my room, then went into her bedroom,returning a.
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